What does it mean to be home?

I've always thought it's about where my family is, but my entire family won't be on the boat.  I'm thinking about my mom today. It's not just about her reluctance to sail. It's about her reluctance to travel at all, even to visit us.  My stepson's girlfriend is having a similar reaction.  I am powerless to change their minds and, really, I don't want to try.  What if I did convince them to visit and then they (and by extension, us) were miserable for the entire time?  While I'm wrestling with leaving family behind, we are also facing the problem of what to do with our homestead.  Our yard in the Spring, Summer and Fall is absolutely gorgeous.  Exhibit A:

 
It's Winter that we object to more and more, especially the older we get. So we sell, right? Ah, not so fast.  Our property is scheduled to be rezoned in 2022.  At that point, it may be worth considerably more as developers could chop it into smaller pieces.  So, what do we do?  Do we sell it now as a house with acreage?  Do we try to get developers to purchase it now and divide it into three or four lots (which it is zoned for), or do we try to rent it until 2022 when the zoning changes?  More than any other difficulty in sailing away, this is the one keeping my brain whirring at 11:58pm on a weeknight.  I don't know that there is a good answer, because each comes with its own set of pros and cons.  Who could we get to rent it?  Dog classes are also taught here on a full size agility field. What happens to that as my fellow trainers take over the business?  My hope is that things will be made clear as we get closer to our departure date.

Meanwhile, I am trying to redefine what "home" means to me.  No small task. 

Boat shoes for everyone!

As we attempt to save our money for this adventure, I'll admit that it's a little shocking how expensive some of the gear is that we need. We went to Scheel's Sporting Goods this weekend to get boat shoes for the family.  And I got the BEST tip from one of the sales people.  She had me try on the child's Keen shoe instead of heading over to the women's section.  As it turns out, a child's size 6 is roughly equivalent to a women's size 8.  This little trick saved me $50 on these (very high quality) shoes! 

Things I will not miss

I had the kind of crazy, run around type of day that is all too common in my world.  One child had a day camp at the zoo.  The other had a pre-audition workshop for dance.  An appraiser came to our home to assess our baby grand piano, since we're thinking that's not practical for our boat.  We will have to sell it.  And a mechanic came out as well.  That one was pretty horrifying, as he told me that the air conditioner itself is just fine. It's the mice chewing at the wiring that is the problem.  The little beasts have eaten through a bunch of wiring and that's why the air is out.  And it's 90 degrees and humid.  Try teaching a dog class in that.  Now we need an electrician. And oh! Is that the time?  I had three private dog training appointments, peppered in locations all over the south metro.  More drive time than appointment time.  I started at 6:30am and got home around 8:30pm.  This, I will not miss.

If nothing else, this will be here to remind me of this sort of day when something goes wrong on the boat.  I can look back at this blog and think to myself, "At least, I'm no longer doing that!"

I saw my children for a total of approximately 17 minutes today.  There was so much rushing around that when we are all (briefly) home at the same time, all I wanted was to sit in a quiet room by myself.   I wonder how many people feel like they're rushing through their lives to "get to the end" of the work?   Because that's how I felt today.

Then my sweet husband informed me that he will take our daughter to camp tomorrow morning. I could have wept.  I want to hang out with that guy more often!  Then to put the cherry on top, he told me that there was a "favorite sailing spot" thread on the sailing forum at cruisersforum.com.  This is what I want to hold in my head for tonight's dreams:

Habla Espanol?

Nope!  At least, not yet.  Thank goodness for duolingo.com and the many translator apps I've found.  I am hoping that it will be enough to get by...my actual, secret hope is that the attempt at Spanish in a foreign country will purchase at least a little bit of goodwill and that most people speak some English.  I think that immersion once we get there will help, but until then I'll be at the mercy of the local population. 

Meanwhile, the questions keep piling up. What kind of boat will we be able to afford? And most recently, WHERE should we buy it?  There seems to be a huge variation in price if you buy a boat in Europe.  I would love to hear of others' experiences with this, so we're doing some research.  Okay, we're doing a LOT of research.

My biggest question this week has been - how do you get everything onto the boat?  I'm presuming that we can haul the clothes we need to the marina, as well as some other necessities like linens and such.  But what about cookware, dinnerware?  We live in Minnesota. The last time I checked, there wasn't an ocean nearby.  Are we supposed to load up our car and drive to a coast with all of our stuff?  My husband says that if it doesn't fit in a car, it won't fit on a boat. But really?  There are 5 of us, and we have a Ford Fusion. 'Nuff said.   I think there must be some way to get the stuff on the boat that we need.  Can we bring a tv?  What about the Wii?  lol

Color me baffled. 

Sailing School vs. Sailing

We now have two ASA sailing courses under our newbie belts! We were able to combine 101 and 103 in four days on Lake Minnetonka.

There is so much to learn that I feel as though I learned nothing at all.  One thing is clear. I love sailing, but I'm not such a huge fan of sailing school.  Both Henry and I passed with flying colors, but there's a lot to memorize.  And I feel certain that we need to practice more often to keep all of this fresh.  I can see where it would simply fade away if we don't use it regularly.  

Another clear lesson: There is something in sailing for just about any personality type. I really enjoy gentle sailing on calm waters. There's nothing like it.  I greatly appreciate the beauty of nature and the pristine beauty of open water. 

Meanwhile, a first for our captain.  We did a buoy drill that I absolutely hated!  Crazy figure eights on a 23 foot sloop is not my idea of fun. The wind was pretty strong and the boat heeled a little too much for my taste. Our captain said she had NEVER seen a reaction like mine.  She said everyone loves it, because it's so fast and fun.  I completely hated it.

I don't think that racing is in my future. 

Making it real

Why is it that a concept becomes more of a reality when you tell another person about it?  Up to this point, the fact of our leaving our lives-as-we-know-them behind has seemed far away, a pretty little daydream. But I've told a couple of people about it, and suddenly it IS happening!

Baby steps help.  I have started using duolingo.com for Spanish practice, at least once a day for 20 minutes.  We will start having Spanish immersion meals soon.  And Ham Radio for Dummies is a pretty good read!  There's a fair amount of information, though I don't know how up to date it is.  The nicest thing about it is that it gives you terrific suggestions for web sites to visit.

Since I'm still running my dog training business, that's what today has been mostly about.  I'm trying to ease my way out of it but keeping enough of it to myself so as to be able to live until we buy a boat.   The two (and hopefully eventually four) trainers I've brought on board are amazing women.  Without them, the hard work that went into creating the business would just fade away to nothing.  It's very reassuring to have them in place.

The friends I've told have been overwhelmingly supportive.  But I have to say, the funniest question I consistently get is, "Are you bringing the kids?"  Our kids are 9 and 10.  I mean, what else would we do with them?  "Yeah, they're not coming along.  We figure they are old enough to fend for themselves. They'll be alright."   Were we supposed to leave them with their grandma?  For 3 years?  I think not!  lol   It really points out what a foreign concept this is to most people.  They ask as though we haven't considered their future.

"Oh, the kids! Shoot, we kind of forgot about them in all the excitement!  I have NO idea what we're going to do with them." 

To Do, to do, to do

If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves. -  Thomas Edison

I like lists, to a point.  They keep me organized. But sometimes there are so many things on it that it becomes overwhelming.  A year is not a long time, and I realize that once school starts again, that my life will once again be consumed by the "have to's" that make up much of a parent's life.  I have to get the kids up. I have to get them to school. I have to call that client back.  You know that drill.  Most all of us do.  

So I'm trying to get as many things off of my To Do list as possible.  I'm very task oriented, which means I love to check things OFF the list.  Unfortunately, I find that impossible lately.  How do you check off "Learn Spanish" and "learn about Ham Radio".  Well, you don't, as it turns out.   Clearly, I need to break these things down into smaller pieces. The alternative is to remain paralyzed by how much there is to do.  I'm finding myself locked in helplessness.  I can't do it all, so I do nothing. 

A tip I read recently said that you should set a timer for 20 minutes. Do a task until the timer goes off and then switch to something else, whether you're done or not. I'm going to try that.  

Oh, and I probably have to get rid of my World of Warcraft account.  

Hopping off the treadmill

How much does it cost to live here?  Yes, there is a monetary cost.  The mortgages, the cars and the gas to drive them. And let's not forget utilities; heat, air conditioning, water, electricity.  Then there is the food.  Even if you eat at home and never, ever go to a restaurant, eating organic and healthy is not cheap.   The kids' activities are a pretty penny too.  Dance, soccer and school.  Between their hot lunch program, books, uniforms and school supplies, I need another part time job.

Do you really know how much it costs to live where you are?

And we really shouldn't stop there. There is another cost, the cost of being absent.  We run our children to one thing and then the next. I go to work as my husband gets home.  A woman I talked to today said that her husband has two jobs and works seven days a week.  That's a cost to a family.  When you are home, are you really present?  Are you absorbing every moment?

Are the goals you and your family set for yourselves the ones that you truly want?  Or are they the ones you've been told are necessary to succeed?

Well, we figured it out.  We actually do know what the monetary cost is to live here.  By tracking our spending on a simple web site (we used Mint.com), we watched our money come in and go out.   Over a 30 month sample, we have a pretty accurate idea of what it costs to live here.  And it was stunning.  Shocking, even.  Who knew that car maintenance could add up this way or that heating an older home could be so formidably expensive?

What we hadn't quite figured out was the cost to our family.  We knew something was wrong. We knew we weren't happy on the treadmill, and we knew that we didn't spend enough time together.

So we have decided to make a drastic, some might even say crazy, change.  We are not the first ones to do this and don't even feel very creative.  But the decision has been made.  We'll sell off our possessions, quit our jobs and sail into the sunset.  Sorta.  A lot has to happen between now and the Fall of 2016.  But our timeline is set and we are ready to take the steps necessary to live differently.

It is costing too much.