Another level of "things are getting real"

My husband, Henry, is a computer programmer, a math head.  He likes things to be predictable, at least to a certain degree. And abrupt change does not sit well in his khaki and loafer world.  So when his current client told him they would be ending the contract (after he informed them of his early retirement) on April 15th, he might have been a tiny bit panicked.  As of this afternoon, that is four more days of going in to work after a 30 plus year career.  I think the shock has mostly worn off for him, so now the recovery can begin.  I'm not sure how long that stage will last.

I, of course, am absolutely delighted!  This means he can help more in getting the house ready to sell, which will ease my stress level somewhat.  I've been on "11" for awhile now.  But last night, I actually slept until my alarm went off at 6:30am.  I don't remember the last time I wasn't up before that.

We are closing in on what we're bringing and what we're selling.  Now, if we could just figure out what to do with the kitty cat.  We can not bring her with us, though we seriously considered it.  It may have been possible but for the weeks away from the RV that we already have scheduled.  From July 22-29, we'll be on an Alaskan cruise.  And then from the 29th-August 5th we'll be chartering a monohull in Puget Sound.  We can not leave her alone in an RV for two straight weeks.  Then there's the issue of her personality. She's always been an outdoor/indoor cat, heavy emphasis on the outdoors. She loves to hunt and regularly brings us what I can only describe as decapitated gifts.  More than once, I have been startled by one of these presents. I'm sure she's confused by my lack of gratitude.  We'll think of something, I'm sure.  Things seem to work out just exactly the way they're supposed to.

In the next post, I'll share our summer plans and route across America (and parts of Canada) in our extreme RV adventure.

But back to the countdown.  Henry has four more days of work. The kids have about six more weeks of school.  We have about three and a half weeks until the estate sale.  It's starting to feel like this might actually happen! 

On to Plan B

Well, that didn't work. 

A big piece of our financial picture fell through about a month ago.  Thus, there has been much procrastination in blog writing.  In a nutshell, something we needed to happen didn't.  And that means we now have to sell not only our house but our two rental properties as well.

I had to tell our renters, all fabulous people and exceptional tenants, to vacate by May 15th. May I never, ever have to do that again.  It was truly painful. 

And now the real fun can begin.  Our timeline has sped up as a result of this, instead of slowing down. The townhomes and the house will all be listed on or about June 1.  My gut says they'll all sell pretty quickly.  As soon as they do, we are buying an RV (yes, this is new!) and living in it while we try to figure out the boat we want/can afford.

Holy 180, Batman!  The RV discussion is a stroke of genius, if you ask me. I wish I could claim it was my idea. Basically, it buys us time. 

Meanwhile, I have been putting my hands on every single item in our home and throwing it into one of three piles; stuff to sell, stuff to store at grandma's house and stuff to throw out.  It is painstaking and, of course, difficult.  Exhibit A: Below is a photo of beautiful, Lenox crystal wine glasses that are now discontinued. I have 8 of them.  And yeah, they're being sold.  And yeah, I'm going to get for a fraction of what I paid for them.  If nothing else, this process has assured me that stuff is stuff.  It's not worth what you think it is. And it's not worth paying retail, trust me. I will never buy retail again. If I need stuff, I'm heading to an estate sale!

I've also hired an estate sales company to handle the glorified garage sale mid-May. That way, our house can be largely empty as we try to get it ready to show.  We have to paint everything, refinish our hardwood floors and basically beautify the dear, old girl. 

I alternate between feeling like we have all the time in the world and feeling something like, "Ohmygoodness, it's March WHAT?  We are not going to make it!"  Yeah, it's fun. 

Trying to keep my eye on the prize. 

Telling people is so weird!

We had a bonfire party tonight on our 10 acre property, which is a short-term luxury. All of this space seems so greedy lately.  Everyone who came to the party knows what we're planning, and of course questions about it are inevitable. When are we leaving?  When is the goodbye party?  Are you still insane enough to do this?

Telling people about these plans always makes them seem more real.  I'll be the first to admit that I'm not really used to this idea yet.  It still seems far away, a dream.  But it's February. And all of our friends know about it.  And we have until August 1st to vacate our house. I've started and thrown out so many to do lists that I feel deranged and incompetent.  There is so little that can actually be done right now.  The stuff we can sell that's actually worth something we're going to be using until we hop on the boat. 

The other thing that's been happening is that in a group of people all talking about this, I find out that my husband and I don't really agree on everything.  A small example tonight - I'm all for renaming whatever boat we end up buying.  He says we're not doing that. Really? First I've heard of that! I'm not thinking it's a big deal if we follow the proper rituals and ceremonies. In fact, I think it sounds like fun.  On the one hand, I feel like we talk this issue to death. And on the other, there are still surprises around every corner.  We don't have this in our daily life here.  This is specific to boat discussions.  I'm going to "put a pin in" that thought for now and revisit it as things get hashed out.

Meanwhile, I am starting to realize that the number of bonfires we can have are severely limited.  I am feeling a sense of urgency to spend more time with these fabulous people.  They better come and visit!

Thanks a lot, Stock Market

Well, that's not the only problem right now, but it's certainly not helping.  The fluctuation is crazy at the moment, and it's seriously messing with my mojo.  The amount of boat we can afford is going to be directly related to what our investments can do for us in the short-term.  We are also trying to weigh the tax implications of retirement, soon-to-be three rental properties (two townhomes and the homestead) and the sale of all of our STUFF.  The delicate balance required to fitting all of these moving pieces together has made me question whether we should do this now.

The answer seems to always come back to YES, we should. But how?  Well, and not just how - but how best?  I think up to this point I have had unwavering faith in my husband's ability with mathematics and economics.  But with so many changing tax laws, health insurance options and the housing market, I think maybe an expert or seven might be in the near future.  Should we take out a boat loan? Should we refinance before we leave?  Should I learn how to play the ukelele?

We've also started to question the once-solid idea of buying a catamaran in favor of a much less expensive option (read: monohull).   The advice we're given consistently is "whichever boat gets you out on the water sooner is the right boat for you".    So I think we're about to make some big shifts in our thinking given the current economic climate.  We may also push back our date for the "big leave" to later in the Fall.  Maybe October or even after the new year, to avoid the crushing tax burdens involved in doing this all at once. Our current plan is August 1, but I have become ever the realist. We shall have to see how it all plays out. We need a tax genie...or a lottery win.  Either of those would answer a lot of questions and make this whole thing a lot easier.

Then again...maybe it shouldn't be super simple.  If it was, we would not have to question our decision to do this.  And we wouldn't have to recommit to it every time a new wrinkle appears.  Perhaps I just need to embrace the uncertainties and allow the questions to just be.

(snort) Or maybe I need to get back to the gym and control what I can. 

The tipping point

I have reached a strange phase in this process.  On the one hand, I am in limbo. I have all the time in the world, and time is passing too slowly.  I want to just go already!  And then, on the other hand, there is no way we have enough time to do everything we need to before leaving.  The stuff we have to sell alone is going to take months!  You truly do not realize how much stuff you have until you put your hands on every single thing you own in a systematic way.  I mean, seriously, why do I have so many Christmas ornaments?  Where did they all come from?  And how do I get rid of them?  Do we keep the Christmas stockings or throw them in the "don't need it on a boat" pile?  I've been reading decluttering articles and doing searches on eBay so that I know how much to expect for various items.  That's another completely disheartening process. That adorable pair of brand name shoes that retailed for 80 bucks that you've worn once?  Yeah, those are worth four American dollars now. 

Then there's the issue of the husband still working a full-time job. I am not at all comfortable going through our stuff by myself. He's a lot more conservative.  I'd have simply thrown that tablecloth away, but he's convinced we can get a few bucks for it.  So, really, I am very limited in what I can do until he can help me. 

Meanwhile, my dog training business is all but gone (a very strange feeling).  When I used to have breaks between classes, I knew another one was coming up.   Now, I have exactly one more class to (co) teach, and then I'm completely and "forever" done with it.  It's a daunting concept, but so much of this is.  Not having my own income, paltry as it was, is a hard pill to swallow.  I've become a complete miser.  How big a tip should I leave?  Let's eat at home instead of going out.  Oh, look! That soda is on sale! And I have a coupon for that!   I'm ready to sell my car, just to ease the guilt of not working. 

On another front, I had a conversation about homeschooling today with a professional in the education field and now feel completely inadequate in meeting my childrens' educational needs.   I waffle on this almost daily.  One moment, I'm fully prepared. How hard can it be, after all? I will only have two students, not 24! Teachers do this every day!  But in the very next moment, I am panicking because I do not remember one single thing about Trigonometry or diagramming a sentence. 

So here's what I think.  There is a tipping point at which the momentum shifts. At that point, everything we do will be geared toward sailing away.  Until that happens, I will simply feel frozen.  So much time. Not enough time.  I look forward to falling off of the edge. 

The Test is Complete

We spent a week on a 40 foot boat and did NOT kill each other or our delightful Captain. Success, right?  Perhaps.  I think that Henry and I are cautious people, him more so than me.  And so, even though we think we're ready to make this leap, there are many questions still to be answered. The questions we absolutely did answer on this trip:

1) The space was quite adequate. There was no time when I felt cramped or stir crazy.  There are plenty of places on a 40 foot boat to "get away".  There are at least 6 or 7 different spaces to occupy, so feeling crowded was never a problem. This was a big surprise to everyone, I think. And cooking on the boat was a snap. It really wasn't much different than cooking at home. Turning the propane on and off was the extra step. 

2) Sea toilets are not land toilets.  Sea toilets are just not good.  This is one of those things that, in our opinion, deserve an upgrade to THE BEST technology you can afford.  'Nuff said.

3) Mattresses require upgrades.  Now, the boat we were on is a charter, so of course there is some wear and tear.  I swear, the mattresses were worse than the ones we camp with (in a tent).  Basically, we slept on boards for a week.  And what's with the sheets, people?  Custom made fitted sheets (or the homemade alternative) are key.  Drawstrings or bungees will work for this. 

4) Air conditioning is a nice perk on a boat.  It's not necessary, really, but for dehumidifying damp clothing or towels, it's really helpful.  It's not a priority for us, but maybe we can upgrade this at some point down the road on any boat we'd buy.

5) Catamarans are not the best sailors, but they are incredibly easy to maneuver.  A lot of the fear I had about docking was taken away this week. Twin engines, for the win.  I was very impressed by how tight those turns can be.

There's more, of course, but the gist of it was - YES! I want to do this.  Do we want to do it forever?  I don't know. But I think an adventure like this is a must.  We've shown ourselves that we can do it, physically and mentally.  Now it's a matter of actually taking that leap. That's no small thing. 

But when you can spend New Year's Eve here instead of in 20 degree weather, how could you resist?  A lot of the discussion this week was about the kids.  We sailed (or motored) every day we were out this week. We would absolutely not do that if this was our life.  We would spend more of our time in anchorages and exploring (and homeschooling) and less time actually on the water.  Overall, it was excellent experience and made me want more of it.  I'm ready to go!

The BIG test

In two days, we will fly to St. Petersburg, Florida and set sail for 8 days.  We won't be alone. A Captain will, apparently, make sure we don't die...or crash the boat.  The four of us, plus one Captain, for 8 days on a 40 foot catamaran should at least let us know if we can handle the tight space.  This isn't just a boat like the boat we'll be on. This is THE boat we'll be on:

I think there are several ways this will be a "good" test and a few, important ways that it won't. We'll definitely figure out if we like this idea.  Do we like it enough to try it for real?  I think that's a question we can answer.  And we'll definitely figure out whether the space is adequate.  This is about the size we can afford. Finding out how the sleeping arrangements work out ahead of time is a serious luxury.  And can we cook and to what extent will be decided.    Even with all of the reading I've done on provisioning, I still feel clueless about it.  I know that this experience will give me a handle on what we can reasonably carry and how long it will last. And seasickness - how bad will it be?  Will I be able to acclimate or will I be wretchedly ill any time the tide kicks up a bit?  These are my questions I think we can answer. 

The biggest question this can't answer, though, is how it will really be.  This isn't our boat.  So there will certainly be big differences there. There will also be an additional person on board.  As unobtrusive as he can undoubtedly be, we will still be "on" to some degree.  Having that fifth person on board ensures, perhaps, that we won't be able to fully relax. Then again, maybe it's like reality television. You get used to the cameras being around 24/7 and eventually you just learn to ignore them. 

Stay tuned....