Thanks a lot, Stock Market

Well, that's not the only problem right now, but it's certainly not helping.  The fluctuation is crazy at the moment, and it's seriously messing with my mojo.  The amount of boat we can afford is going to be directly related to what our investments can do for us in the short-term.  We are also trying to weigh the tax implications of retirement, soon-to-be three rental properties (two townhomes and the homestead) and the sale of all of our STUFF.  The delicate balance required to fitting all of these moving pieces together has made me question whether we should do this now.

The answer seems to always come back to YES, we should. But how?  Well, and not just how - but how best?  I think up to this point I have had unwavering faith in my husband's ability with mathematics and economics.  But with so many changing tax laws, health insurance options and the housing market, I think maybe an expert or seven might be in the near future.  Should we take out a boat loan? Should we refinance before we leave?  Should I learn how to play the ukelele?

We've also started to question the once-solid idea of buying a catamaran in favor of a much less expensive option (read: monohull).   The advice we're given consistently is "whichever boat gets you out on the water sooner is the right boat for you".    So I think we're about to make some big shifts in our thinking given the current economic climate.  We may also push back our date for the "big leave" to later in the Fall.  Maybe October or even after the new year, to avoid the crushing tax burdens involved in doing this all at once. Our current plan is August 1, but I have become ever the realist. We shall have to see how it all plays out. We need a tax genie...or a lottery win.  Either of those would answer a lot of questions and make this whole thing a lot easier.

Then again...maybe it shouldn't be super simple.  If it was, we would not have to question our decision to do this.  And we wouldn't have to recommit to it every time a new wrinkle appears.  Perhaps I just need to embrace the uncertainties and allow the questions to just be.

(snort) Or maybe I need to get back to the gym and control what I can. 

The tipping point

I have reached a strange phase in this process.  On the one hand, I am in limbo. I have all the time in the world, and time is passing too slowly.  I want to just go already!  And then, on the other hand, there is no way we have enough time to do everything we need to before leaving.  The stuff we have to sell alone is going to take months!  You truly do not realize how much stuff you have until you put your hands on every single thing you own in a systematic way.  I mean, seriously, why do I have so many Christmas ornaments?  Where did they all come from?  And how do I get rid of them?  Do we keep the Christmas stockings or throw them in the "don't need it on a boat" pile?  I've been reading decluttering articles and doing searches on eBay so that I know how much to expect for various items.  That's another completely disheartening process. That adorable pair of brand name shoes that retailed for 80 bucks that you've worn once?  Yeah, those are worth four American dollars now. 

Then there's the issue of the husband still working a full-time job. I am not at all comfortable going through our stuff by myself. He's a lot more conservative.  I'd have simply thrown that tablecloth away, but he's convinced we can get a few bucks for it.  So, really, I am very limited in what I can do until he can help me. 

Meanwhile, my dog training business is all but gone (a very strange feeling).  When I used to have breaks between classes, I knew another one was coming up.   Now, I have exactly one more class to (co) teach, and then I'm completely and "forever" done with it.  It's a daunting concept, but so much of this is.  Not having my own income, paltry as it was, is a hard pill to swallow.  I've become a complete miser.  How big a tip should I leave?  Let's eat at home instead of going out.  Oh, look! That soda is on sale! And I have a coupon for that!   I'm ready to sell my car, just to ease the guilt of not working. 

On another front, I had a conversation about homeschooling today with a professional in the education field and now feel completely inadequate in meeting my childrens' educational needs.   I waffle on this almost daily.  One moment, I'm fully prepared. How hard can it be, after all? I will only have two students, not 24! Teachers do this every day!  But in the very next moment, I am panicking because I do not remember one single thing about Trigonometry or diagramming a sentence. 

So here's what I think.  There is a tipping point at which the momentum shifts. At that point, everything we do will be geared toward sailing away.  Until that happens, I will simply feel frozen.  So much time. Not enough time.  I look forward to falling off of the edge. 

The Test is Complete

We spent a week on a 40 foot boat and did NOT kill each other or our delightful Captain. Success, right?  Perhaps.  I think that Henry and I are cautious people, him more so than me.  And so, even though we think we're ready to make this leap, there are many questions still to be answered. The questions we absolutely did answer on this trip:

1) The space was quite adequate. There was no time when I felt cramped or stir crazy.  There are plenty of places on a 40 foot boat to "get away".  There are at least 6 or 7 different spaces to occupy, so feeling crowded was never a problem. This was a big surprise to everyone, I think. And cooking on the boat was a snap. It really wasn't much different than cooking at home. Turning the propane on and off was the extra step. 

2) Sea toilets are not land toilets.  Sea toilets are just not good.  This is one of those things that, in our opinion, deserve an upgrade to THE BEST technology you can afford.  'Nuff said.

3) Mattresses require upgrades.  Now, the boat we were on is a charter, so of course there is some wear and tear.  I swear, the mattresses were worse than the ones we camp with (in a tent).  Basically, we slept on boards for a week.  And what's with the sheets, people?  Custom made fitted sheets (or the homemade alternative) are key.  Drawstrings or bungees will work for this. 

4) Air conditioning is a nice perk on a boat.  It's not necessary, really, but for dehumidifying damp clothing or towels, it's really helpful.  It's not a priority for us, but maybe we can upgrade this at some point down the road on any boat we'd buy.

5) Catamarans are not the best sailors, but they are incredibly easy to maneuver.  A lot of the fear I had about docking was taken away this week. Twin engines, for the win.  I was very impressed by how tight those turns can be.

There's more, of course, but the gist of it was - YES! I want to do this.  Do we want to do it forever?  I don't know. But I think an adventure like this is a must.  We've shown ourselves that we can do it, physically and mentally.  Now it's a matter of actually taking that leap. That's no small thing. 

But when you can spend New Year's Eve here instead of in 20 degree weather, how could you resist?  A lot of the discussion this week was about the kids.  We sailed (or motored) every day we were out this week. We would absolutely not do that if this was our life.  We would spend more of our time in anchorages and exploring (and homeschooling) and less time actually on the water.  Overall, it was excellent experience and made me want more of it.  I'm ready to go!

The BIG test

In two days, we will fly to St. Petersburg, Florida and set sail for 8 days.  We won't be alone. A Captain will, apparently, make sure we don't die...or crash the boat.  The four of us, plus one Captain, for 8 days on a 40 foot catamaran should at least let us know if we can handle the tight space.  This isn't just a boat like the boat we'll be on. This is THE boat we'll be on:

I think there are several ways this will be a "good" test and a few, important ways that it won't. We'll definitely figure out if we like this idea.  Do we like it enough to try it for real?  I think that's a question we can answer.  And we'll definitely figure out whether the space is adequate.  This is about the size we can afford. Finding out how the sleeping arrangements work out ahead of time is a serious luxury.  And can we cook and to what extent will be decided.    Even with all of the reading I've done on provisioning, I still feel clueless about it.  I know that this experience will give me a handle on what we can reasonably carry and how long it will last. And seasickness - how bad will it be?  Will I be able to acclimate or will I be wretchedly ill any time the tide kicks up a bit?  These are my questions I think we can answer. 

The biggest question this can't answer, though, is how it will really be.  This isn't our boat.  So there will certainly be big differences there. There will also be an additional person on board.  As unobtrusive as he can undoubtedly be, we will still be "on" to some degree.  Having that fifth person on board ensures, perhaps, that we won't be able to fully relax. Then again, maybe it's like reality television. You get used to the cameras being around 24/7 and eventually you just learn to ignore them. 

Stay tuned....

The Big Test!

With the celestial navigation class under his belt, Henry is officially better versed in sailing than myself.  This wasn't hard to do, quite frankly.  He had likely surpassed me before we even started. After all, I still can't remember how to tie a bowline unless I do it two or three times. 

A side note: Gotta brag about the big brain I married. He scored a 98 percent on the celestial nav test, a test which apparently only about 50 percent of students pass.  WOW!

Anyway, the real test awaits.  On December 25th, (yep, we're traveling on Christmas Day) we fly to Florida for a week-long charter on a 41 foot FP.  Will we hate sailing by the end of the week?  Will we hate seafood?  Will we hate each other?  These are questions for which we must find answers before we can commit to this plan full force.

The four of us, plus Captain Frank, on a 41 foot boat for 7 days, 8 nights.  His plan, he says, is to take us out of the marina and not return there until January 2nd.   Just to give you an idea, this is the boat shown on the Charter School's web site:

Now, it's not all fun and games. We are getting a class after this as well, ASA 114 (otherwise known as Multihull Fundamentals).  We already have the book.  And here's what I've learned so far:

1) Nothing you've learned so far is of any use to you, because multihulls are different in every possible way than the boats you've already been on.

Yep, that's it. 

You know how you learned to tack on that 23 foot sloop?  Yeah, that's useless now.  Catamarans have no momentum.

Oh, and you know those hours upon hours of Man Overboard Drills? Yeah, kind of useless.  We do those different on a Cat. 

Okay okay.  To be fair, the cooking part will probably be similar, but I didn't really take a class for that.  And sure, the radio will be about the same too.  lol 

We're letting the kids bring their tablets.  I'm taking bets on how long after their batteries run down before the mutiny begins! 

Cooking on a boat?

Someday I know that I'll look back on this period of time and think, "That went so fast!"  But today, it feels the opposite.  Most of my dog business has been transferred to the new trainer.  The house is pretty clean.  "Pretty" because there's little point in a home with two kids attempting "spotless".   And the big stuff all has to wait.  So, here I sit. 

Fortunately, the distractions are helpful. I'm having lunch with my cousin today, and the weekend promises to be full of play dates and activities for the kids.  I've also been following more and more closely the Eat to Live program.  The recipes and cooking techniques are foreign to me, so I've been learning a lot about food for the last couple of weeks. I think of this as helpful for the cruising lifestyle as well.  A more plant-based diet is a more flexible diet.  When we run to a local market, I am hoping to have a better idea of what I'm seeing than I would had we continued to follow our meat and potatoes with the occasional pizza routine.  I'm becoming a squash connoisseur.  Butternut, acorn, spaghetti - I can make something out of all of these now.  My next conquest shall be sourdough bread.  With a culture, you can apparently keep making fresh sourdough day after day.   Hopefully, with the added bonus of fresh fish, we will not starve. 

And coffee! Let's not forget coffee. I will be giving up my Keurig, which is limping to its death anyway.  Instead, I'm opting for the more portable, and just as effective, French Press.  Since I'm the only one in our family who drinks coffee, it's perfect. I can still make just one cup at a time, and it's really easy to clean.  The cream that I seem to still require is going to be a little trickier.  I'm trying to wean myself off of it, slowly but surely. I'm down to a couple of spoonfuls/cup.  But that last dive into bitter is going to be tough for me. 

So, that's it! These are my distractions.  Limbo is not a pretty thing. 

The What If Game, and how not to play

What if the market crashes?
What if a job in radio comes along before we set sail?  An actual possibility.
What if the job in radio comes along 3 weeks after we set sail? 
What if we hate the week on the catamaran that we have planned in December?
What if we are seasick the whole time?
What if I have a mental breakdown before tomorrow?

The what if game is really not as fun as, say, volleyball.  I don't know why we all play.  There's a quote I really like by Lao Tzu that sums this up perfectly for me.

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

Yeah, I know. Easier said than done.   About a week ago, my friend in the radio business was let go from his current job.  He's now actively looking for another job.  If he were to get a morning slot, I might get a phone call asking me to join him.  Which I would.  But the What If possibilities surrounding this scenario are impossible to contemplate.  Which market?  Which slot?  When?   Why wouldn't this produce extreme anxiety?  It's not enough for me to worry about stepping out of the dog training business. It's not enough for me to worry about Henry leaving a lucrative career behind. It's not enough for me to worry about homeschooling, renting out our home or selling all of our stuff. No, no, let's add another brick to that overflowing wheelbarrow!  It came to a head for me yesterday, and I crumbled under the pressure.  

 

So today, I'm attempting to refocus.  Today, I'm going to take my kids to the dentist.  Today, I'm going to go out to lunch with my family. And today, I'm going to do some laundry.  That's about all I can handle. For today.