The Art of Saying Yes

I think optimism is a widely admired trait.  Yet so many of us have a desperately hard time maintaining it. It's something that we've been talking about a lot lately, especially as fortunate as we are.  Both Henry and I grew up in low income brackets, he more so than I.  There was always food and a house, but there weren't a lot of extras.  We both worked our entire adult lives up to this point, and we were lucky enough to live in the US and get quality educations.  Somehow though, good fortune still brings out the pessimism in us.  How can it possibly be this good?  When is the bottom going to drop out?  We both just feel "too" lucky. 

We now have a 2 year plan to continue RVing across the US. We've started to make our way East again and plan to be in the Midwest by the end of April. After a Summer and Fall "back home", we'll be making our way to Corpus Christi, TX for the winter.  The following Spring will mean a slow trek up the East Coast with a Fall in the Midwest.  We may winter somewhere warm once again, but then...

Our current plan has us buying a sailboat at that point.  Because we have been discussing this more seriously lately, I have actively been trying to shut down the naysaying inner voice.  "What if something bad happens?" it says.  "I welcome good fortune into my life," I say.  "But what if you can't afford it?  What if the market crashes or you get robbed or...something else horrible occurs?" it says.  "I am content and capable," I say.  "We can handle whatever happens.  Now, shush!" 

It's pretty persistent, the little bugger. 

But here's what I have learned.  No matter what happens to us, we cope with it. It's not always perfect or what we expected, but we make it through.  Our successes in simply surviving should give us all confidence in the future.  Now, when we reach for something resembling greatness, we practice saying "That could totally work out! I think that's going to happen!" Or even better, "That is going to be even better than we think. Look what we've done so far!"  Trusting ourselves to handle adversity is a huge step.  We all have within us the ability to overcome.  This is, to me, what makes optimism possible and worrying such a waste of energy.

It may seem new-agey to meditate or practice affirmations, but I find that until I talk to myself differently, nothing around me changes.   There's a terrific Improv exercise in which you may only say "Yes, and..." when your partners make a suggestion, no matter how outlandish. And in the beginning, it's tremendously difficult for actors to stop saying "No, but..."  I think this is an essential trait for life.  When the idea comes to you, "Hey, I could..." your inner voice should say, "Yes! And it's going to be amazing!"