Real life sets in, and other challenges

I hope I've been careful not to allow my blog to sound like this is a vacation, one big fun fest.  Because it isn't.  Vacation was the week on a cruise ship and the week on the sailboat. Family was visiting, we were waited upon, and we experienced luxury.  Real life has begun to settle in a bit more now, and it comes with conflict and difficulty.  The lack of phone service and internet have become major problems rather than minor inconveniences.  The solution seems to be to hang out in or near towns at least some of the time.  We have a booster for the local WiFi options, but the internet connections in campgrounds have been notoriously iffy and very, very slow.  What do you need internet for, you might ask.  Well, a lot, as it turns out.  The kids have been using online tools like Khan Academy and Duolingo as well as the connectivity needed for their blogs.  Henry and I need it for - everything else.  We can't find new campgrounds without the internet.  We can't make reservations without phone service.  And anytime an issue comes up, we need to be able to get to the source. Such was the case with an insurance issue yesterday, an issue that (just like living in suburbia) took up our entire morning on the phone.

The kids seem tired of moving, which is not unexpected.  They have really enjoyed the non-driving days (as have I).  These are the days when we don't move, really, from the RV much at all and they are allowed to play and just BE.  We always do homework on these days, and I think we need more of them. But we still have a couple of not-so-distant obligations, fun though they are, and do actually need to be somewhere specific on a particular date.  Our next of these is a trip to see my dad and his wife in California, something to which I'm definitely looking forward. We've never seen their house, though we have visited them in CA before.  I'm looking forward to having a place to relax for a few days.  So, on we go!  The driving days at least have become routine.  There have been (knocking on wood as I type) no more mechanical issues.

Then, there are the kids. Is it because there has been so much stimulation and diversity?  Or is it that you see the same three people all day, every day.  Whatever the cause, I will admit to tiring of displays of tantrum and lack of gratitude.  The sassing when asked to do a simple task or whining when an activity like hiking is suggested are exhausting at this point. I find my temper growing shorter than I'd like. I'd love to be that dispassionate, matter-of-fact mom who just spells out consequences and then follows through with them when conflict arises.  I have a reserve of this, but it's tough when there's no buffer (like school).

Then...there is my spouse.  He has lately started expressing real and serious doubts about how long he wants to do this.  Is it going to be fun in another month?  Is the novelty wearing off? When will the "bad" outweigh the "good"?  Of course, I find such pondering stressful.  We have both given up a lot, sacrificed what we had worked for, to do this.  If one of us is disillusioned after the first couple of months, I'm not sure where we go from here.  His rumination is balanced by wonderment and delight when we do things we never would have gotten to do another way.  An example, kiting on the beautiful Crescent Beach in Washington State:

We also took a (very long) hike on the Dungeness Spit to a lighthouse. It was five and a half miles to the lighthouse...and 5 and and half miles back.  We never would have known such a thing existed without this adventure.  It was certainly memorable!  My knee may never forget.  And just this morning, while the tide was low, we walked out onto a heavily populated bit of land that you can't see at high tide.  There were anemone, tiny crabs, fish and all sorts of clams and mussels that simply vanish into the ocean when the water comes in. It was one of the most beautiful places I can imagine.

So, for me, it is still worth it. I still think we did the right thing.  The benefits still outweigh the risks and damages.   I would certainly keep going. But I would also give it up if the right opportunity presented itself.  I'm a pretty adaptable person. I fear stagnancy much more than I fear change. I am also savvy enough to know that any type of "re-entry" into society we'd attempt would have to be new.

I am aware that you can not go home again.  Everything will be different, because you yourself have changed.