What if a job in radio comes along before we set sail? An actual possibility.
What if the job in radio comes along 3 weeks after we set sail?
What if we hate the week on the catamaran that we have planned in December?
What if we are seasick the whole time?
What if I have a mental breakdown before tomorrow?
The what if game is really not as fun as, say, volleyball. I don't know why we all play. There's a quote I really like by Lao Tzu that sums this up perfectly for me.
"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
Yeah, I know. Easier said than done. About a week ago, my friend in the radio business was let go from his current job. He's now actively looking for another job. If he were to get a morning slot, I might get a phone call asking me to join him. Which I would. But the What If possibilities surrounding this scenario are impossible to contemplate. Which market? Which slot? When? Why wouldn't this produce extreme anxiety? It's not enough for me to worry about stepping out of the dog training business. It's not enough for me to worry about Henry leaving a lucrative career behind. It's not enough for me to worry about homeschooling, renting out our home or selling all of our stuff. No, no, let's add another brick to that overflowing wheelbarrow! It came to a head for me yesterday, and I crumbled under the pressure.
So today, I'm attempting to refocus. Today, I'm going to take my kids to the dentist. Today, I'm going to go out to lunch with my family. And today, I'm going to do some laundry. That's about all I can handle. For today.
