"I wish"

We hear this a lot, actually. "I wish I could do what you are doing."  Or "I wish I could retire."  I find that being the source of someone's envy is a very uncomfortable place for me to be.  So, as I do, I thought about it way more than I probably should and came up with this.  If you want it, do it.  It's just about the trade offs.  I truly think that we are not unique. As we are discovering, there is a large (and growing) community of full-time RVers.  We thought that, by now, the attractions we are visiting would be empty.  After all, the school year is in full swing and people are settled in for the winter, right?  Well, wrong.  The attractions we've visited are perhaps not as busy as they'd be in the summer, but there are lots of people doing the same thing we're doing.  And even more surprising, many of them are doing it with kids.  So, how did we do this? 

We talked about and accepted trade offs.  The things I was willing to give up are not trivial, not at all. I gave up order and convenience. Gone are the days when I could run out to my local grocery store for 1 or 2 things.  Now, if we need milk, we have to plan for an excursion into town. Since we change locations fairly often (at least weekly right now), we have to relearn the geography.  Order is difficult to come by. 

Silence ad space are also largely gone.  When you live in close quarters with three other people, two of whom believe that the optimal volume for conversation is "jackhammer", the sane people in the household relish the hour or so after the children have gone to bed. There is nothing so blissful as the quiet of a half empty campground by a lake.  The silence may be less frequent, but it is also deeper.  And space - we don't spread out.  We don't even put something down for five minutes without someone else asking for it to be moved out of the way.  It's tidier, because it has to be. But being mindful of the space you inhabit is definitely a trade off.  

We've also given up the convenience of infrastructure in terms of our children's education, our electricity and our internet service.  The last of those is a huge, huge deal.  Having unreliable internet service may be the one thing that ultimately stops me from enjoying this lifestyle.  I wish there were a better solution than using my phone's hot spot (which is notoriously unreliable) or trying to hook up to a campground's sketchy and almost always painfully slow WiFi.  When we find that rare campground with excellent WiFi, I binge on it like the junkie that I am. 


We traded permanence for adventure.  In fact, we have doubled down on that.  We said goodbye to our dear old girl last week.  The days of living in our Class A motor home are over.  We are enjoying this adventure much more than we thought we would, so we upgraded.  We now own a truck and pull-behind travel trailer with a separate space for the kids. Their "bunkhouse" has three bunks and plenty of toy storage.  And we can unhook and take day trips without worrying about the 6 miles to the gallon we were getting with the Coachmen.  Our plan is to continue this journey for another couple of years. There's a lot to see out here, as it turns out.

If you already own a house, you can definitely afford this lifestyle.  It's much cheaper if you stay a week or a month in one location.  And it's cheaper yet if you dry camp without any hookups at all.  There are plenty of places where this is possible.  I have given up driving all over a Metro all day and working more than I wanted in order to afford living in our mortgaged-to-the-hilt house.  The trailer  has plenty of room for all four of us, and the payment is a fraction of our mortgage.  I've given up seeing my children for a few minutes a day.  I've also given up waking up at 6am.  If you're truly willing to give up convenience and predictability, the trade off is fantastic views, lazier days and beautiful weather.  All the time.  I say, it's worth it - at least for now. 

Challenges of close confines

One of the interesting things about this lifestyle is the closeness.  It's not only the physical space, but the mental "space" as well.  And I think having a child with ADD has greatly magnified that effect.  It's hard to write about ADD without sounding like a bad parent or feeling guilty.  The side effects in my son's case are extreme negativity (about any suggested activity), a reactive contrary response to any question posed and downright harassment if there's something he wants.  The medications help, but we have tried to wean him off of those to disastrous effect.  He tests our patience, and I see this improving only as he matures.  Meanwhile, we do the best we can to manage his symptoms. I think many people assume that retirement and the life we're living now is just bliss.  It's just not so. It is always, always about balance. There will be good days and bad.  No matter where you travel, you take yourself with you.  I knew this going in to this adventure and it remains true.

There are enough positives to outweigh the negatives, of course.  This was true in our suburban life and it's true now.  We are in Utah and have made some big decisions. We are so happy doing this that we feel we can do it indefinitely.  We are also acutely aware that we are missing attractions along the way.  Because we still have obligations and timelines that need to be met, we are not fully exploring the areas we've visited.  So, we have decided to put our sailboat on hold, maybe for several years.  I don't doubt that we'll still charter when we can.  But there's a lot to be said for the RV life, and we need more time.  We will not even make it to the East Coast this year.  And next year is already largely spoken for.  We'll be retracing some of the route we took in 2016 and spending more time in each spot.  Additionally, we'll be heading farther north.  We missed out on Banff this year because of repairs to our RV.  So next year, we head to Canada for at least part of the summer.

All of this leads me to the other crazy decision we made this week. We have decided to upgrade our current living situation. We are trading in the old girl for a new trailer.  This means we will have a truck to drive around.  No more insane mountain roads with a 33 foot RV!  More on this later, but we pick up the new trailer in 10 days.  I'll document that experience when it happens.

I leave this entry with the stunning beauty that is Zion National Park.  Of course, the pictures can not do it justice.  We'll be seeing more of Utah over the next month, and I suspect I'll fall even more deeply in love.  It's pretty easy to do:

On the Road Again!

And yes, we do channel Willie Nelson and sing that song every single time we add a leg to our travels.  It never gets old. 

The last couple of weeks have been amazing.  During our stay at the Travis Air Force Base, we took a day trip to Muir Woods.  I had been waiting to see the sequoias since we talked about coming to California.  It's one of my clearer childhood memories.  I was privileged to go to a camp in the 6th grade in the middle of the Redwoods.  They do not disappoint.  My imagination did not equal the reality. How many times in life can you say that?

It's so quiet that you can feel your soul healing. Well, except for the other tourists.  But even then, everyone was respectful of this magnificent and silent world.  I learned that diplomats had met here, in the Cathedral Grove, as the United Nations was forming.  What a perfect setting to contemplate grave decisions.  There's a sense of smallness here.  Our problems are so minuscule by comparison to the thousands of years in the lives of these trees. I wish I could conjure this memory any time I am feeling worried or overwhelmed.  I wish we all could. 

After Muir Woods, we went to San Francisco, a bit of a shock after the silence.  It's a city of my childhood, so I thoroughly enjoyed the piers and sea lions.  Fisherman's Wharf is just, plain fun to see. But a couple of unexpected surprises were actually better.  We went to a museum along the wharf that contained a history of coin-operated machines.  It turns out that is really, really fun!  We spent far more time there than I expected, putting our quarters into machines from the 1800s all the way up to pinball and PacMan.  Not only was it fun for all, it was cheap! I think we spent less than $20.   Parking in the ramp was more expensive.  I highly recommend the stop if you are ever in the area.  It's called Musee Mecanique. I'd put the accents on the words properly, but my computer-challenged self can't seem to figure that out.

The other highlights for me included a street musician playing a Chapman stick and a didgeridoo, and a tour of the Boudin Bread Factory.  So much sourdough!  So little time!  We also took a side trip on the way out of town to the historic Lombard Street.  Apparently, we may be one of the last as, true to the State of California, they are now considering regulating or charging for this privilege.  It is quite a view, though.

In a nutshell, it's a great place to visit.  After the relative quiet and isolation of our RV, the traffic in San Francisco (and actually, in California as a whole) is enough to scare me away.  If I did live here again, I'd want to live within walking distance to everything I need.  Add to that the sheer number of laws around things that in other states are unregulated and, well, I'm happy to be where we are, off the grid.  Getting a simple prescription filled was like trying to merge two corporations.  I have a feeling that Nevada is going to seem downright lawless after this. 

After another week of being pampered with my dad and stepmom, we are now off again. Tables like this will be a thing of memory for awhile. She really did spoil us rotten.

 We'll be making a stop near LA to see a friend in the radio business.  We're going to record a demo to send out. I'm nervous! I haven't been on the air since 1999.  My chops may need some polishing.  I'm not expecting anything to come of it, but I am open to the possibilities. From there, we are heading to Las Vegas to see the incredible woman who took over my dog training business. She will be there for a conference. And then?  All points Utah! We'll be spending the better part of a month seeing what there is to see, checking out the Grand Canyon (of course) and then heading back to Vegas for another rendezvous.  I think the plan after that is to beeline to Texas, where we will likely try to establish residency and renew my driver's license before it expires.  Not that I am doing any driving.  The RV is unwieldy, at best, and Henry has a lot of experience with it now.  It's a fair trade, I think. He does all the driving. I do all the dishes and laundry.   In my opinion, I have the better end of that bargain! 

A break in the action - and just in time

The last couple of weeks have contained a sort of stillness that we hadn't yet experienced on the road.  We have spent the time imposing upon my dad and stepmom in sunny California.  By sunny, I mean oppressively hot by 1pm.  They are having an unseasonably hot Fall in in the valley as well as a drought. 

This was, we thought, our last obligation.  This would be the last time that we had to be somewhere at a certain time.  So we acted like it and became lumps for days at a time.  It was lovely.  The added benefit is that my stepmom is a fantastic cook.  Ethan has been sous chef for several meals, and my waistline reflects this culinary extravagance. On other days, we took day trips with the loan of a car.  I can not even describe the delight of driving a tiny vehicle that immediately responds to the driver after the bumping and swaying of a 33-foot motor home.  We even drove at speeds of 70 miles per hour!   Henry and I took a "date drive" down the coast to Monterey and Carmel.  If you ever get the chance to take the 17 mile drive, do it without hesitation.   It is some of the prettiest real estate in the country.

We also went on saw a dear friend of mine who generously welcomed my family to her home. And as a bonus, her husband is a ham radio guy!  I got a free demonstration. It's something I'll definitely be exploring when it's time to get the sailboat. 

We get a lot of questions about that, by the way. And the answer is, we are really enjoying what we're doing now.  So much so, in fact, that we have started to contemplate trading up.   We did some shopping for trailers that can be towed while we were in the area.  There are a couple of major advantages to this method of travel. First, we can detach the trailer which would mean no more stressful (borderline terrifying) drives up winding mountain roads in the gigantic RV.  Our pocketbook would be happy at the higher gas mileage, no doubt. And second, the kids would have a space of their own.  That would mean no more putting the beds away each morning and getting them out each night.  So! We have put the RV up for sale. I sort of can't believe we're doing it, and we'd be just fine if we end up not selling it. It's our home, after all. We'll see if we get a nibble or two.  With all of the work we've put into it, it's a steal at what we're asking.   A little piece of me just can't think about that too much or there will be weeping. Oh well, it's only money. And I'll take some solace from the fact that someone will get a lot of enjoyment from our labor.  So, I guess, if you know someone who's looking:

http://www.rvtrader.com/listing/1997-Coachmen-CATALINA-330MBS-119622900


A couple of other notables from this period.  We drove to San Francisco with the entire family to pick up a new addition to the Madison household.  She is the cutest little thing! 

I will say, though, that driving into San Francisco...on a Friday night...during rush hour is maybe not optimal. 

And finally, the reason for the obligation, the reason we had to be in California by mid-September, the Monterey Jazz Festival.  We got to see one of our favorites, Davina and the Vagabonds.  Check them out if you're a jazz and blues lover. They are fantastic. She knocked it out of the park, as usual. 

Now, the obligations are not ending like we thought they would. They are terrific to have, though. That's the difference in our lives between working and retirement.  People actually want to see us!  Go figure.  So we have dates to see friends and family through December! And there are more friends to add to our list.  I now think that this aspect will not change as long as there are people we know along our route.  Our current stop is the Travis Air Force Base, where Henry's niece is living with her family.  It's a mini city! I had no idea how big it would be. We went to the museum on base yesterday and my brain is still swimming.  I have decided that Erin should be an astronaut. 

So, while the "have to"s have definitely lessened, they have not completely ceased.  I think they lend us purpose, which turns out to be a pretty good thing. 

Routines and the lack thereof

Can it be that we have actually started to fall into a routine?  Granted, it's loose, but I think it might count as something of a schedule.  We get up late, comparatively.  We were up by 6am and off to school by 7:15am for an 8am start time back in the real world.  Now, we're lucky to drag ourselves out of bed by 8:30am.  Coffee. Always coffee. Then homework. We have been using Khan Academy for math, but we've discovered that it also covers a number of other subjects. There are great videos and explanations that are kid friendly. We are also using Science News magazine as a source for current events, and I'm teaching cursive.  Duolingo has our Spanish curriculum.  And of course, we take advantage of the local offerings.   The Lewis and Clark trail ends in Washington, so we were able to visit an absolutely top notch interpretive center.  Did you know that Lewis was a captain but Clark wasn't?  His commission just hadn't come through in time for the trip. But Lewis kept it a secret anyway. As far as the rest of the men knew, they were both captains.  I found that rather endearing. As the homeschooling thing revs up and solidifies, we are asking the kids to pursue a subject in which they are interested and then present their findings to the rest of us. 

We have lunch before noon.  I'm trying to limit my calorie intake, because I'm still cruise chubby.  Well, come ON! They feed you 7 times a day!  It couldn't be helped.  The afternoons then are comprised of bike rides or hikes or, as is the case today, a rafting experience. I have never been white water rafting, so I'm excited and a little scared.  Since I am not taking my camera with me on that adventure (because, water), here's a shot of our hike the other day near Cascade Locks, Oregon.  My overall take on Oregon so far is that it's even prettier than Washington State. Sure, Washington has the big mountains, but Oregon seems richer and lusher.

Every second or third day, we drive.  We've also started keeping track of chores for the kids and have implemented a points or "minutes" system for screen time.  Time can be added or taken away depending on behavior.  It's going shockingly well.  I'm impressed again by how much humans need structure. We crave it.  The kids are responding beautifully to the new guidelines.  Because of it, I now think this was such a great idea!  Of course, give me an hour and I may change my mind.

By evening, the togetherness usually gets to me.  I shouldn't be surprised at how much time I seem to need alone, but I am.  Quiet is bliss.  Bliss, I tell you!  I may need to invest in some sort of noise-cancelling earphones or earplugs.  I swear, my children are trying to rob me of any hearing I have left.  My days in radio and loud concerts took a toll before they were born, to be sure. But they find amusement in yelling directly into my ear, just to be sure that I am completely deaf in my senior years.  And don't get me started on Yahtzee, surely the LOUDEST game in the universe.  Don't believe me?  Play it with a 10- and 11-year old so intent on shaking the dice as loudly as possible that the outcome of the game is irrelevant.   I have sworn it off, along with breakfast. 

Internet is also still a problem. I feel like a junkie.  We're heading into California in a few days, and I'm looking forward to visiting my dad and his wife, my stepmom. I'd be lying if at least a smidgeon of my desire is a fast internet hookup.  I am itching for a fix! We have also been sending a number of packages ahead.  Getting mail is another complicated problem, so it's nice to have a "home base" for a couple of weeks.  These are things I naturally took for granted before this. 

So am I ready to go back and re-enter?  ...Nah.  If the right thing came up, we'd do it.  But we're a-ok with this choice for the moment, especially when we see our kids playing together on a beach. Ethan does a mean Jack Sparrow imitation. Life is good.

Real life sets in, and other challenges

I hope I've been careful not to allow my blog to sound like this is a vacation, one big fun fest.  Because it isn't.  Vacation was the week on a cruise ship and the week on the sailboat. Family was visiting, we were waited upon, and we experienced luxury.  Real life has begun to settle in a bit more now, and it comes with conflict and difficulty.  The lack of phone service and internet have become major problems rather than minor inconveniences.  The solution seems to be to hang out in or near towns at least some of the time.  We have a booster for the local WiFi options, but the internet connections in campgrounds have been notoriously iffy and very, very slow.  What do you need internet for, you might ask.  Well, a lot, as it turns out.  The kids have been using online tools like Khan Academy and Duolingo as well as the connectivity needed for their blogs.  Henry and I need it for - everything else.  We can't find new campgrounds without the internet.  We can't make reservations without phone service.  And anytime an issue comes up, we need to be able to get to the source. Such was the case with an insurance issue yesterday, an issue that (just like living in suburbia) took up our entire morning on the phone.

The kids seem tired of moving, which is not unexpected.  They have really enjoyed the non-driving days (as have I).  These are the days when we don't move, really, from the RV much at all and they are allowed to play and just BE.  We always do homework on these days, and I think we need more of them. But we still have a couple of not-so-distant obligations, fun though they are, and do actually need to be somewhere specific on a particular date.  Our next of these is a trip to see my dad and his wife in California, something to which I'm definitely looking forward. We've never seen their house, though we have visited them in CA before.  I'm looking forward to having a place to relax for a few days.  So, on we go!  The driving days at least have become routine.  There have been (knocking on wood as I type) no more mechanical issues.

Then, there are the kids. Is it because there has been so much stimulation and diversity?  Or is it that you see the same three people all day, every day.  Whatever the cause, I will admit to tiring of displays of tantrum and lack of gratitude.  The sassing when asked to do a simple task or whining when an activity like hiking is suggested are exhausting at this point. I find my temper growing shorter than I'd like. I'd love to be that dispassionate, matter-of-fact mom who just spells out consequences and then follows through with them when conflict arises.  I have a reserve of this, but it's tough when there's no buffer (like school).

Then...there is my spouse.  He has lately started expressing real and serious doubts about how long he wants to do this.  Is it going to be fun in another month?  Is the novelty wearing off? When will the "bad" outweigh the "good"?  Of course, I find such pondering stressful.  We have both given up a lot, sacrificed what we had worked for, to do this.  If one of us is disillusioned after the first couple of months, I'm not sure where we go from here.  His rumination is balanced by wonderment and delight when we do things we never would have gotten to do another way.  An example, kiting on the beautiful Crescent Beach in Washington State:

We also took a (very long) hike on the Dungeness Spit to a lighthouse. It was five and a half miles to the lighthouse...and 5 and and half miles back.  We never would have known such a thing existed without this adventure.  It was certainly memorable!  My knee may never forget.  And just this morning, while the tide was low, we walked out onto a heavily populated bit of land that you can't see at high tide.  There were anemone, tiny crabs, fish and all sorts of clams and mussels that simply vanish into the ocean when the water comes in. It was one of the most beautiful places I can imagine.

So, for me, it is still worth it. I still think we did the right thing.  The benefits still outweigh the risks and damages.   I would certainly keep going. But I would also give it up if the right opportunity presented itself.  I'm a pretty adaptable person. I fear stagnancy much more than I fear change. I am also savvy enough to know that any type of "re-entry" into society we'd attempt would have to be new.

I am aware that you can not go home again.  Everything will be different, because you yourself have changed.

Two Weeks of Crazy - Part Two

You know that feeling when you're so stressed out that you feel like your head might actually pop off of your body?  That's how I felt on Friday, July 29th as we transitioned from a week of ridiculous, over the top luxury to a 45 foot space...for six people.  After disembarking from Celebrity Solstice, we recovered our RV and drove to Bellingham, WA where we provisioned for the week, did laundry, and basically got our act together for the next big thing.  Why we did these two trips back to back is beyond me.  I suppose we thought we'd be in the area, so why not. But good grief, never again.

We chartered a 45 foot monohull with the idea that we needed a good test on one.  The idea was to see whether we could live on a monohull versus a catamaran. We had really only ever considered a cat before this.   The result was, in a word, no.  Nope. No way. No, no, no.   As it turns out, I hate heeling in a boat more than I remembered.   I love to sail in a cat. Everything stays level, more or less. In a monohull, I can tolerate up to a 25 degree heel and then I want to scream.  It might have helped if I had grown up on the water, but I didn't.  My first experience sailing was at Fair Hills Resort in Detroit Lakes, MN.  On a catamaran.  We owned an 18 foot Hobie cat for 10 years and then spent that week on one last December.  Maybe if I'd only done the monohull thing first, I'd feel differently. But for me, now, there is no going back. 

Once I got over the terror of sailing it, we had a lovely time.  We got to see some absolutely beautiful places in the San Juan Islands and, as a bonus, got to be the first to try out the owner's new dinghy:

On our first day out, a pod of orcas went right past the boat!  So, already, I was feeling like the discomfort was worth it.  And a beautiful hike through the Roche Harbor sculpture garden helped as well:

Since I know that our eventual goal is to be on a sailboat, I feel like I should spent a bit more time explaining why, for me, the debate between monohull and catamaran is settled, once and for all.  I actually feel that I could get used to the boat tipping over every time the wind changes, but only if I'm on deck.  Being below and, heaven forbid, trying to cook while that's happening would make me seasick beyond words.  The rolling motion of the cat is very different.  You stay flat and hit the waves head on.  That's not always pleasant either, but at least I can retain my balance. 

Then there's the actual living space.  Even my 10 and 11 year old children said the berths were too much like coffins.  Everyone was banging their heads on various parts of the boat all week long.  Going down below for everything became not just irritating but separated all of us constantly.  Once we were all down there and eating supper, for example, it was fine. But the transitions were very tricky.  My mom actually had a mini breakdown at the beginning of the week.  We both had to have an attitude adjustment in the form of margaritas before we could continue. In short, I will never willingly do that again.   Even the RV is more pleasant, because at least you can pass each other without sidestepping and there's plenty of headroom.  Okay, rant over.  It really was a beautiful week, and I'm grateful for the chance to see the beautiful waters of San Juan Islands.

And I was left with this: Saturday, we said goodbye to my mom and to my stepson.  We likely will not see them again until Christmas.  That's a hard thing when you're used to having these people a short drive away.  Thank goodness for the internet.